This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize