i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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