I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
