There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
