What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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