xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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