Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
