Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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