he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
