Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
