i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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