my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
