2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My first STD was from a foam party
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
