So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
