Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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