I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
