We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
