I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I supernannyed him into submission
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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