then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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