Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize