I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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