I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
