I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
