Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.

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(303): View more from Colorado

if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous

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(216): View more from Ohio

I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...

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(425): View more from Washington

Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background

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(406): View more from Montana

I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez

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(765): View more from Indiana

I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire

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