hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
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DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Drunk is a universal language darling
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