Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
