party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
