It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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