New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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