He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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