GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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