its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
