I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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