so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
