I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
