absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
