I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
this is an emotional support booty call
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
