I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm jealous of your bromance
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
