Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
