Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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