Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My ATM looks so different sober.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
