after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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