Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
