i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
