Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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