i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
