and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize