found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
