Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
