Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
