I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
