plz talk dirty to me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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