Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
