The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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