Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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