Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
