David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
