Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
