i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dignity is for republicans.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
