I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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