Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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