I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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